I watch a podcast called “Pop Sirens” which is targeted more for the younger “Geek” crowd, but has a few segments that I find entertaining.  I got my “cake wrecks” post from this show.  They have a segment called “Horrible Inventions” which is both funny and a little scary.


1) Baby Cages – which is just as bad as it sound.

In Patent 1448235, July 19, 1922, Edith Head of Spokane, Washington invented a Portable Baby Cage that was designed to be hung outside the windows of apartment buildings. 

To provide “proper fresh air from the outside. With these facts in view it is the purpose of the present invention to provide an article of  manufacture for babies and young children, to be suspended upon the exterior of a building adjacent an open window, wherein the baby or young child may be

Yep, little junior will get plenty of fresh air, and a six story drop to the ground.


2) A timepiece “for monitoring and displaying the approximate time remaining in a user’s life.”  Just think, you get to count down your last moments on this earthly plane. 

“A microprocessor monitors the passage of time. A resettable memory is connected to the processor for storing data representative of years, days, hours, minutes and seconds. A display is connected to the microprocessor for displaying data stored in the memory. Buttons or switches are provided to enter and change the stored data so that the approximate time remaining in the user’s life can be reset by the user.”

Patent number: 5031161
Filing date: Feb 15, 1991
Issue date: Jul 9, 1991
Inventor: David Kendrick


3) Our seventh President, Andrew Jackson, invented eye glasses for chickens.

“Be it known that I, Andrew Jackson, Jr., a citizen of the United States, residing at Munich, in the county of Jackson, State of Tennessee, have invented certain new and useful Improvements in Eye-Protectors for Chickens”

“This invention relates to eye protectors, and more particularly to eye-protectors designed for fowls, so that they may be protected from other fowls that might attempt to peck them, a further object of the invention being to provide a construction which may be easily and quickly applied and removed and which will not interfere with the sight of the fowl.”


4) Just what America needs “buttocks cleavage-revealing” pants.  Sometimes when I get home I just want to wash my eyeballs out.

“Disclosed is a garment having a buttocks covering portion and a buttocks cleavage-revealing portion disposed at the buttocks covering portion. The buttocks cleavage-revealing portion is an opening and see-through material is disposed at the opening. The garment is a pant having leg portions depending from a waist, and the opening is disposed below the waist.”

Patent number: 6473908
Filing date: Jan 9, 2002
Issue date: Nov 5, 2002
Inventor: Thomas A. Bontems
Primary Examiner: Gloria M. Hale
Attorneys: Parsons & Goltry, Robert A. Parsons, Michael W. Goltry
Application number: 10/042,965