1) Irish Toast: 

“May your glass be ever full.

May the roof over your head be always stong.

and may you be in Heaven

half an hour before the devil knows your dead”

2) Both of my grandmothers were Irish.  Nell Leonard, my father’s mother, her family was from Galway I think and Mary Cahill, my mother’s mother,  whose family was from Kerry I believe.  There were both third generation Irish-Americans and  I don’t know anything of their family history.


3) Irish Philosophy:

In life, there are only two things to worry about-

Either you are well or you are sick.

If you get well, there is nothing to worry about,

But if you are sick, there are only two things to worry about,

Either you will get well, or you will die.

If you get well, there is nothing to worry about-

But if you die, there are only two things to worry about-

Either you will go to to heaven or hell.

If you go to heaven there is nothing to worry about.

And if you go to hell, you’ll be so busy shaking hands with your friends

You won’t have time to worry!

3) Irish Blessing:

May you always have these blessings,

A soft breeze when summer comes-

A warm fireside when winter comes-

And always the warm soft smile of a friend.

4) Irish Jokes:

a. An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night.  The bartender finally said the bar is closing.  So the Irishman stood up to leave and fell on his face.  He tried to stand one more time; same result.  He figured he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.

Once outside he stood up and fell flat on his face.  So he decided to crawl the 4 blocks to his home.  When he arrived at the door he stood up and fell flat on his face again.  He crawled through the door and into his bedroom.  When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up.  This time he managed to pull himself upright, but quickly fell right into his bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. 

He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting,  “So, you’ve been out drinking again!”

“What makes you say that?” he asked, putting on an innocent look.

“The pub called.  You left your wheelchair there again.”

b. Two priests died at the same time and met St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter said, “I’d like to get you guys in now, but our computer’s down. You’ll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can’t go back as humans. What’ll it be?”

The first priest says, “I’ve always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains.”
“So be it,” says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.
The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, “Will any of this week ‘count’, St. Peter?”
“No, I told you the computer’s down. There’s no way we can keep track of what you’re doing.”
“In that case,” says the second priest, “I’ve always wanted to be a stud.”
“So be it,” says St. Peter and the second priest disappears.
A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. “Will you have any trouble locating them?” He asks.

“The first one should be easy,” says St. Peter. “He’s somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult.  He’s on a snow tire, somewhere in Minnesota.”